Olivia Colman on Her Oscars Speech, British Humor, and Playing the Queen

[knocking]

[footsteps]

Olivia! Hey Joe, hi!

[Joe] It such an honor to be here

to ask you 73 questions here in London.

Come on in.

[Joe] Oh, thank you.

And the first question is what is this place?

Quite nice, isn't it?

[Joe] It's beautiful.

So it turns you play the queen a few times

and then they give you this.

[Joe] So I guess life has been

kicked up a notch, hasn't it?

Well, it's all right.

[Joe] Oh, I'm in the presence of a queen!

Where are my manners?

Oh, no, really, you don't have to,

you don't have to do it.

Do it again, but a little bit less.

That's perfect.

[Joe] Okay, okay, great.

So, what was your first professional acting role?

It was Bruiser.

[Joe] And what was your first acting role ever?

Jean Brodie.

[Joe] How old were you?

16.

[Joe] What did you grow up watching constantly?

Dynasty.

Oh. Olivia.

Can I arrange anything for you and your guest?

Oh, just a simple cup of tea would be lovely.

Yes, ma'am. Thank you, William.

[Joe] Olivia, I can't proceed with this interview

until I ask you a question

about this masterpiece on your wall.

What is the story with this art here?

Well, it's from the 1700s, it's all an original,

it's probably as old as your country.

[Joe] You sure this wasn't painted more recently?

No.

[Joe] Comedy or drama?

Both!

[Joe] How do you know when you've nailed a scene?

I don't think you do,

I think you know when you haven't nailed it.

[Joe] What film do you

never get tired of watching?

It's a Wonderful Life.

[Joe] What performance is the best of all time?

I don't think you can answer that, I have no idea.

[Joe] What's the craziest thing you've ever done

auditioning for a role?

I ate a cigarette butt.

[Joe] What good habit are you trying to adopt?

Drinking more water.

[Joe] What show are you currently binge-watching?

The Other Two.

[Joe] What's the most outrageous thing

that you've ever done in your life?

I pooed in the cupboard.

But I was three.

[Joe] What's been the most difficult thing

you've ever shot?

Madame Thénardier for Les Misérables

'cause she beat children.

[Joe] What accent do you think

is the most difficult to master?

Geordi or Naranay.

[Joe] Now, you famously do not have a process,

is that correct?

Yes.

[Joe] Though when playing such recognizable people,

does that demand a different approach?

Yes, because suddenly there's an awful lot

of footage and research and documentation,

and then you actually have to read stuff.

[Joe] Now, after reading a script,

what do you do?

I try to work out if I've had a gut reaction to it.

[Joe] What is the most ridiculous fact

that you know?

Apparently some cats are allergic to humans.

Would you like a cup of tea?

[Joe] I would love some, thank you.

And by the way, does this POV style interview

remind of your Peep Show days?

Yeah, sort of.

After you.

[Joe] No, after you.

Oh, no, no, please, you're the guest.

[Joe] Oh, I insist.

No, come on, after you.

[Joe] Oh, ladies first!

No, come on.

Okay, we'll just, oh, sorry.

Okay, back to the real world, sorry.

[Joe] Wow, look at this room.

And there's even more art!

Yes, and this baby,

oldest baby ever depicted in a painting, 34 years old.

[Joe] Wow, and look at this elaborate

tea setup we have here, this is incredible.

Oh, it's nothing.

It's just a little thing.

[Joe] Would you consider high tea to be

the most British thing on Earth?

It's quite British along with trying

to get into a room through a door politely.

[Joe] What's the most British phrase ever?

After you.

[Joe] And what joke would you say

perfectly distill British humor?

Pull my finger.

Oh, let's not, no, we won't do that.

[Joe] How do you suggest we drink this tea?

Well, hardly mum, shall I?

[Joe] I have no idea what that means.

[Olivia] That means I'll pour.

[Joe] Okay, now your first role

is leaning towards a very particular brand of comedy.

How would you describe the humor

to someone who's never seen that?

Quite dark.

Bit culty, probably not for your mom.

[Joe] And how would you describe yourself?

I think it's peculiar to describe one's self.

[Joe] Was there a time when you

considered pivoting away from acting?

No, can't do anything else.

[Joe] Can you describe your style in three words?

Nope.

[Joe] What's an article of clothing

that you can't bear to give away?

My biggest, comfiest pants,

and it would be weird to give them away.

[Joe] This tea looks looks great.

Doesn't it?

Actually, this is a very good color.

[Joe] Yeah, that looks really nice and cloudy.

I think I've probably nailed it.

[Joe] What's the most extravagant thing

in your wardrobe?

Oh, thank you.

Welcome.

I have the beautiful Stella McCartney dress

that she made for Vanity Fair.

And an Alexander McQueen clutch bag.

[Joe] Who's your favorite designer right now?

That's quite hard because

I don't think I could choose.

Prada, Stella, Alexander McQue--

I don't know.

[Joe] What's a trend that you regret trying?

Boob tubes.

[Joe] What's your go-to perfume?

Jo Malone, amber and lavender.

[Joe] Is there any particular cause

that's important for you to get behind?

I would like all children

to have relationship classes in schools.

[Joe] What's been the most positive change

you've seen in the industry

since you've started your career?

I think the discussion about equality.

Although we're not there yet,

at least the discussion is happening.

[Joe] In 40 years, what do you think

people will be nostalgic for?

Their life before the internet.

[phone ringing]

Sorry, hang on a minute.

[Joe] Favorite flower?

Peonies!

[Joe] Favorite word?

Buttock!

[Joe] The best 007 of all time?

Oh, Daniel Craig.

Sorry, hang on.

[Joe] Sure.

Hello?

Oh, hi!

Oh, today?

I'm a little bit busy, how many of you?

Hang on, William?

[William] Olivia?

Can we squeeze in another 10 people?

[William] Of course.

Yeah, William says that's fine!

Okay.

Yes, don't turn up drunk, though.

Leave the dogs.

Bye!

[receiver clicks]

[Joe] Who was that?

That was my mom.

[Joe] Olivia, let's talk about fame.

What's changed since winning an Oscar?

I get to hang out here.

[Joe] And you've been dubbed

a national treasure here in the UK.

What are your thoughts on that label?

Well, I don't really know what that means,

it sounds like an old teapot.

[Joe] What's been the most flattering

fan moment that you've ever had?

Someone said, oh, Rachel Weisz!

[Joe] What pre-fame job

do you remember most fondly?

Definitely my cleaning job.

I loved it.

[Joe] Can you explain what it's like

navigating the award show season?

You need good people around you

just to sort of push you through it.

[Joe] And what about the red carpet,

what's that like?

That's awful!

I mean, you need comfy shoes.

[Joe] Your Oscars acceptance speech

was incredible. Thanks.

[Joe] Have you rewatched that since?

No, not directly.

It was in the background while our babysitter

filmed the kids as their reaction to it.

[Joe] That's so sweet.

Is there anyone you forgot to thank

that you would wanna give a little shout-out to right now?

Yes, please.

Melissa Angelitsa.

Olivia?

For dinner this evening, lobster, partridge, scallops?

Ooh!

Could we have all of those?

And do you have any gooduckens?

We certainly do.

Four gooduckens please.

Excellent.

Thank you very much.

[Joe] If you had to rename yourself

as a Spice Girl, what would your name be?

Oh, Cuddly Spice.

[Joe] Oh, we have another room.

With another door!

Let's do this, Olivia.

After you!

[Joe] Holy what?

Was not expecting this.

What can you expect from a dinner party like this?

Well, there'll be lots of potatoes.

[Joe] What songs end up

on your dinner party playlist?

The Final Countdown by Europe.

[Joe] If you had to have lunch

with one of your characters,

who would you dine with and what would you talk about?

Queen Anne.

Rabbits.

[Joe] How do you feel

about some word associations?

Yes, please.

[Joe] Okay, selfies.

I think they're awful.

[Joe] Spanx!

Great, but sweaty.

[Joe] Bill Murray.

I love him!

So, this isn't working terribly well,

do you want to come down here?

[Joe] Yeah, that was a bad idea.

If you can go back in time,

what would you tell your 16-year-old self?

Look at me, I'm back in time!

[Joe] What's the worst advice

you've ever received?

You don't need to say thank you quite so much.

[Joe] As someone who's been

in a beautiful relationship for 25 years,

what relationship advice could you offer me?

Always be kind to each other.

[Joe] If you could interview anyone in the world,

who would it be and why?

Oh, Barack Obama 'cause I fancy him!

[Joe] What's a thing a character must have

in order for you to play them?

Good lines

and comfy shoes.

[Joe] And you've worked

with some amazing ensemble casts.

If you can create your own dream team ensemble cast,

who would it be?

Oh, you'd have to start with the Streep and the Dench,

and then the Hopkins, I could go on for a long time.

So about 10 people.

Maybe 15.

And then in a room like this,

close the doors, free booze, and just let the cameras roll.

[Joe] And what film would that be?

What Happened Once the Doors Closed,

I don't know.

[Joe] As a Yorgos Yanthamos alum,

what's the most unique aspect--

How did you say that again?

[Joe] Yorgos Lanthamos?

No, that was terrible.

[Joe] How do you pronounce it?

Yorgos Lanthimos.

Sorry, carry on, what were you saying?

[Joe] What's the most unique aspect

of being on set and working with that guy?

[laughs] That guy.

He is the kindest and the most brutally honest

person you'll ever meet.

Now, I heard that Phoebe Waller-Bridge

wrote the godmother Fleabag role specifically for you.

Yeah.

[Joe] What did you like about godmother?

She's a total [bleep]!

[Joe] If you reversed roles

and you had to write a part for Phoebe,

who would she be?

I'd make her a tiny little hairy man.

[Joe] Olivia.

Yeah?

[Joe] What's a question you've never been asked?

Who would you marry, dog or cat?

[Joe] Oh, that's a tough one.

I'd have to say cat. Dog.

[Joe] What name would you give a secret society?

Secret.

[Joe] What's the best WiFi network name

you've ever seen?

Upyourbum.

[Joe] Okay Olivia, last question for you,

question number 73, who is dining exquisitely

with you this evening?

Well, we've got my mom and some rowdy friends,

The Rolling Stones, and some Danish royalty.

And you, we, of course, want you to stay.

[Joe] What, me?

No, I couldn't possibly.

How could I do that?

Well, I've just asked you, it'd be rude not to.

[Joe] Yeah, but I'm so underdressed,

there's no way.

Oh no, we've got that covered.

William.

We insist.

Come and stay, get wellied with us.

[Joe] How can I say no to this offer?

Yeah, okay, cue the party music!

[claps]

[thumping techno music]

[Man] It's time to party like we've never partied before.

Tonight, the DJ will save your life.

[laughs]

[groans]

It's not really easy sitting down now is it?

Can we have some Chaka Khan?

Have you got any Chaka Khan?

Ooh, you should always look at yourself like that

'cause it's more flattering.

Never look down, I don't know why they have mirrors

that are underneath your face.

[clears throat] Can we,

could we have a little gin to get started?

Thank you, do you like gin?

Love gin.